I Think I'm Getting The Black Lung, Pop!

SHARON: (high pitched coughing) eh-heh, eh-heh-heh...

(As SHARON carefully wipes her face off with a cotton ball. She then throws it into, or rather, onto the trash can that is now overflowing with ashen coal-like lumps.)

Okay. So, I like to add a little dramatic effect. But SERIOUSLY!!! I did my first real trip into the city center of Kampala today, public transportation and all. It was ridiculousness on a level that might be incomprehensible until you actually witness it. I wish I could post up some pictures, but I didn't bring my camera out with me this afternoon. Promise that those are forthcoming.

It's like being smack in the middle of an old western a la The Good, the Bad and the Ugly: dust swirling in the air, tensions are palpable, Ennio Morricone is playing in the background... and when the dust clears... well, it's more dust that's kicked up by a veritable stampede of taxis, motorcycles, cars, and pedestrians. So maybe it's more like Mad Max meets the Lion King!!! (So sad when Mufasa dies by the way... *sniff*) And the dust, the unimaginable amounts of dust!! It's literally enough to make you feel a little bit ill at the end of the day because of all the dust, not to mention exhaust fumes, that you've inhaled -- well, practically ingested. It makes me happy to be sitting here in the quiet BRAC compound, nestled under my mosquito net with the soft glow of my laptop. =)

I was actually warned about the nightmare that is public transportation in Kampala but a couple of people. Needless to say, traffic is pretty horrendous. The 4 or so kilometer trip from Kampala city center to Nyanama should take about 15 minutes or so by car. However, by public transport and with traffic, it can take you up to an hour and a half. This figure was just recounted to me over dinner by one of the gentlemen who oversees the Small Medium Enterprises (SME) program. Obviously, if you have a car, this is the quickest, easiest means of traveling. However, the other options are as follows:

1. Private Taxi - This isn't necessarily a yellow cab (or city cab as they call them here). However, it akin to having private car service that is taken at a pre-negotiated just prior to departure. It's also the safest option at night but generally the costliest option.
2. Boda - These are motorcycle taxis. Good for short to medium distance trips, but not more than that because things like dust, heat, or just general potential for bodily injury. They drive kinda crazy-like. Nevertheless, they can take you right where you need to go, and they are a more affordable option than private cars of course. You sort of need to negotiate your prices here as well, and it can get moderately expensive to make this your regular mode of transport depending. Oh, by the way, do you know that moms straight-up ride with babies in their lap?!?! It's like some Britney Spears craziness, yet oddly enough, I feel like these babies are actually safer. Haha.
3. Taxi (Matatus for those who have been to Kenya/Tanzania) - So these are not actually taxis. They're more like a public bus system, but they're all Mystery Mobile-esque van cabs. They are supposed to seat about 12-14 people safely... but, you know... safety is all relative here (see point number 2). People will shout out the general area they are going to, and chances are you will get to that general area. However, if there's too much traffic or some other such inconvenience, they'll just stop and tell you to get out. If that's the case, you basically walk to where you thought you'd be dropped off. The walking is not terrible, but it's not helpful if you're new to the area and don't know exactly where you're going. On the whole, it is a bit crowded, time consuming, and dirty (I actually saw the conductor lean over and wipe the sweat off his forehead on the upholstered headrest of the seat next to him). However, it will generally not cost you more than 1000 shilling, or about 50 cents. Actually, the base fare is 500 shilling, the equivalent to about a quarter, maybe not even. You can even get to Jinja, which is 45 minutes to an hour away, for about 2 dollars!! Amazingly inexpensive if you're willing to suck it up and roll like a local.

So, the long and the short of it is that I still don't really know where I'm going, but I'm learning!! Certainly ready and willing to keep trying my hand at becoming a proficient at the public transport system. However, this all does makes me regret not having brought my swine flu/yellow dust/fob mask that I used in Korea last year. I already stick out like a sort thumb anyway; there wouldn't be much harm in looking like a ridiculous Asian hypochondriac on top of it. Oh, and my stomach still feels a little gross from the day's adventure. Nevertheless, I am somehow left feeling consoled by the mental image of me emerging from the dust - perhaps a little dirty, perhaps a little worse for the wear - but ultimately victorious from my battle with the seemingly dystopian elements of this city.